Current Squad | Past players

SvenMark Howden (coach)
Nickname: Sven
Playing position:
A comet since: 2004
Abode: Kentish Town
Other hobbies: car racing, wife hunting
Claim to fame: Once played blackjack in Vegas with Drew Barrymore
Favourite player: Tony Adams
Team supported: Arsenal
Suggestion to improve football: deport Mourinho and lock up the Russian
ShoShona Power (captain)
Nickname: Sho
Playing position: left wing
A comet since: 1999
Abode: Clapham
Other hobbies: films food and friends
Claim to fame: Was once on Trisha
Favourite player: The buck toothed wonder that is Ronaldhino
Team supported: agnostic
Suggestion to improve football: players caught diving should be made to wear stabilisers for 3 matches afterwards
Coach's comment: Captain Power. Good strong name. And a surprising level of understanding of the beautiful game for someone so Welsh.
ArsenioKatie Hall
Nickname: Arsenio
Playing position: Midfield
A comet since: 2008
Abode: Flat
Other hobbies: Hosting talk shows. Interest in waistcoats.
Claim to fame: Can actually run faster than a cheetah.
Favourite player: CD
Team supported: Engerlund
Suggestion to improve football:
Coach's comment: Just like Arsenal we've been wanting another rock in midfield. Think we may have found one...
DuVillionaireWhitney Duvall
Nickname: DuVillionaire
Playing position: Left back...centre mid?
A comet since: 2011
Abode: Finsbury Park...the bench near the entrance
Other hobbies: Photography, taking the piss out of Howden, moustaches, Christopher Walken, general debauchery and hijinks
Claim to fame: Vinnie Jones eloquently questioned my sexuality. To this day I don't think he actually believes my answer.
Favourite player: Hugh Hefner. Oh...football player. I get it now
Team supported: I'm terrible at follwing sports. I can barely pay attention during games I'm actually playing in, much less any other team.
Suggestion to improve football: Quit diving and just get on with the game.
don't think I've earned a Comets one yet, if cricket's anything to go by, it'll be Chewy soon enoughAbi Carter
Nickname: don't think I've earned a Comets one yet, if cricket's anything to go by, it'll be Chewy soon enough
Playing position: left-back or striker. Just call me Leighton Odemwingie
A comet since: 2011
Abode: Holloway - the place not the prison
Other hobbies: cricket, music fascism, bourgeois food products, beer.
Claim to fame: Johnny Borrell from Razorlight misfielded off my bowling at Lord's.
Favourite player: Steven Gerrard, obviously
Team supported: Liverpool
Suggestion to improve football: at pro level sin bins, at our level refs that deign to turn up on time (or at all)
tbcTina Smith
Nickname: tbc
Playing position: Midfield
A comet since: 2009
Abode: Brixton
Other hobbies: cycling, golf, motorcycling
Claim to fame: name appeared 2 inches from Beckham's in local paper.
Favourite player: Steven Gerrard?
Team supported: Liverpool
Suggestion to improve football: too many to list
Coach's comment: .
Sal Dixon (website queen)
Nickname:
Playing position: striker/attacking midfield
A comet since: 2003
Abode: Bermondsey
Other hobbies: cricket, choral singing, crosswords, fancy dress, scavenging
Claim to fame: Was once invited to sit on Derek Randall's knee
Favourite player: Steven Gerrard
Team supported: Liverpool
Suggestion to improve football: scrap the 'interfering with play clause' in the offside rule
Coach's comment: Karaoke Queen, centre forward extraordinaire, slide tackles not to be messed with, penchant for swimming in Swedish rivers after dark
JenzJennah Dirksen
Nickname: Jenz
Playing position: center mid
A comet since: 2016
Abode: S Wimbledon
Other hobbies: martial arts, running
Claim to fame: I once gave Hank Azaria a quarter for a parking meter
Favourite player: Stevie G's legs
Team supported: Washington Redskins...wrong country? Fine, Chelsea
Suggestion to improve football: Post-match fines for assholes who dive and roll around for longer than 10 secs. If a team subs, the other team gets to keep playing. Get off the field!
Court, CB, BellCourtney Bell
Nickname: Court, CB, Bell
Playing position: Centre mid
A comet since: 2015
Abode: St John's Wood
Other hobbies: Hiking, traveling, reading, prosecco
Claim to fame: Thanksgiving dinner chef extraoridinaire
Favourite player: All-time, tie between Michelle Akers and Dennis Bergkampf, current favourite: Kevin De Bruyne
Team supported: Manchester United
Suggestion to improve football: As an Amercian, opportunities for girls in football in the US are amazing. I'd love to see that replicated in the UK and I think that needs to start at an early age - girls should play with boys for as long as they can (I still do!) and there needs to be greater cultural acceptance of the women's game over here (and in Europe more broadly).
see Claim to Fame .. why have a nickname?Kariel Parian
Nickname: see Claim to Fame .. why have a nickname?
Playing position: Defence
A comet since: 2016
Abode: Victoria Park
Other hobbies: how dare anyone do anything other than play football? Kidding - travelling as often as possible, exploring food markets, petting every dog I see until their owner feels uncomfortable and most recently
Claim to fame: only person in the world (that I can find) to have my name (both names are made up, so I'm 1 in 7.5bn, roughly)
Favourite player: Mia Hamm
Team supported: Tottenham (and both American national teams)
Suggestion to improve football: I hate the trend of teams and players playing as if it's a soft sport. Stop diving & take a hit (and hit back) - yes it's not rugby, but it's also not tennis. It's a contact sport.
The WallChimmy Kalu
Nickname: The Wall
Playing position: Centre Back
A comet since: 2016
Abode: Clapham
Other hobbies: Badminton, eating, cycling, film, watching tennis & live gigs are a few of my thousand hobbies
Claim to fame: none whatsoever
Favourite player:
Team supported: Chelsea
Suggestion to improve football: Pay women fairly
Mol / Molls... standardMolly Hrudka (assistant coach)
Nickname: Mol / Molls... standard
Playing position: Holding centre mid but happy being just about anywhere on the pitch really
A comet since: 2015
Abode: Clapham North
Other hobbies: Making sushi
Claim to fame: I won the middle school geography bee
Favourite player: Thierry Henry le magnifique
Team supported: Arsenal
Suggestion to improve football: Stop making us be linos... it stresses me out so much knowing I might have to do it
The Energizer BunnyOlivia Lloyd
Nickname: The Energizer Bunny
Playing position: (left) Wing (right) Wing, I don't get political
A comet since: 2017
Abode: Kensington
Other hobbies: Horseriding, running, cooking
Claim to fame: The one and only time I've headed the ball, I scored a goal
Favourite player: Ronaldinho. Caught a ball he kicked once at FCB.
Team supported: FC Barcelona; U.S. Women's National Team
Suggestion to improve football: Teach players and referees the concept of offside. People still seem confused.
Drika, Dri, Driks, Drikie..etc.. Adriane Bianchin
Nickname: Drika, Dri, Driks, Drikie..etc..
Playing position: midfield, anywhere but defence!
A comet since: 2016
Abode: Islington
Other hobbies: dogs
Claim to fame: used to be a skater
Favourite player: Ronaldo, the legend
Team supported: Palmeiras (Brazil)
Suggestion to improve football: We need more support, especially in emerging countries